Theme Thursday- Awesomely Awful Metal Videos

If there’s one thing that’s not lacking in the world of metal is music videos.  More often than not these videos don’t get much of a budget from the record companies, so the bands need to cut corners and really use their imagination to make a video to promote themselves.  Sometimes the band is aware that the video is going to be ridiculous, and often they are completely oblivious making the video even more hilarious.  Here’s a collection of some of the most hilariously awesome metal videos, intentional or not.  Check them out and have a good laugh.  If you know of some other awesomely awful metal videos leave them in the comments and I’ll add them to the post.  Peace Love and Metal!!!!

Candlemass- Bewitched

One can not make one of these lists without the video for Candlemass‘ “Bewitched” being the first thing that comes to mind.  The ridiculousness starts when Messiah Marcolin pops out of the coffin with his amazing metal afro pointing at you as he starts singing.  Best part is when Messiah leads the group of lethargic metalheads in a march of “doom stomp” dancing.  I got me a good ol’ belly laugh out of that.

Immortal- Call of the Wintermoon

Norwegian Black metal guys doused in corpse paint wearing pointy wizard hats and spiting fire at the most random moments recorded with a $2 VHS camcorder and no budget, ’nuff said.

Hammerfall- Hearts on Fire

What is the most metal sport in the world?  Rugby, American Football, Hockey, Base Jumping, Bocce Ball?  Well what ever you are thinking, it’s wrong.  The most metal sport according to Hammerfall is curling, you know that thing that they do in the Olympics where someone pushes a heavy thing on ice and then cleans the floor in front of it with a broom, yeah that.  Check out the original version of this song for even more “Hearts on Fire” cheesiness.

ManOwar- Gloves of Metal

Conan called, he wants his wardrobe back.  Seriously, the song is called “Gloves” of Metal” and is performed by ManOwar, anything less than hilariously awesome would be unacceptable.  Leather! Spikes! and Chaiiiiiiiiiiiiinssssssssss!!!

ManOwar- Blow Your Speakers

Yup, another ManOwar video.  Why?  Because they are the kings of making hilarious awful videos.  My favorite part is the way they march into the TV store and choreograph the putting of the VHS in the VCR.  And just about every other metal cliche’ in the video.

Rhapsody- Rain of a Thousand Flames

I know I featured this as the video of the week a couple weeks ago, but the video for “Rain of a Thousand Flames” by cheese whiz-ards Rhapsody is so amazingly hilariously awesome it deserves a second viewing.  My favorite parts are the dumbfounded look on Alex Staropoli’s mug after he shoots a ball of magic energy out of his hands(2:06) and the Oscar worthy acting of Luca Turilli(2:42) and the battle between the band and the ball of light thingy right after.  This video is just a laugh a second.  Total Cheese Win.

Grim Reaper- Rock You to Hell

I’ll just let Beavis and Butthead do the explanation for this one.

Devin Townsend Band- Vampira

Devin Townsend is quite well know for his sense of humor and in this video it’s there in spades.  There’s something hilarious about watching Devin do his version of the Can-Can wearing a Wal-Mart devil costume.

Motörhead- Killed by Death

Nothing screams awesome like Lemmy crashing through a wall on his chopper and chicks in zebra spandex.

Korpiklaani- Wooden Pints

When I first saw this video years ago I became immediately sold on Korpiklaani.  From the beginning when violinist coming out of the outhouse violining to the end this video is filled with awesome hilariousness.

Iron Maiden- Holy Smoke

Leather, Check.  Chicks, Check. Metal, Check.  Tea, Check.  Bruce Dickinson rocking out in a flower field, Check.  Steve Harris having a seizure, Check.

Poetic Assassin – Inverti in Darkness

While scouring youtube for videos I came across this gem and had to share it with you all.  The half asleep woman sitting in the studio adds extra hilarity to this abomination.  Bonus points for whoever can come up with the best comment for this video.


About RiffRaff

Just takin' it easy for all you sinners.

Posted on June 23, 2011, in Theme Thursday and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. The 80’s called and they want their mullets back. Even metal gods Iron Maiden are not immune to bad videos. I wonder if sometimes bands are like f**k it lets just put some silly shit out there to give people a laugh. I do wonder, though, what my kids will think of the 80’s when they understand where they are in life and the times they live in. It seems like most of these vids came from that decade anyway.

    I wonder if the bands watched these and at any point were like hell yeah thats it! That is exactly how our song should be interpreted. This was a great theme and fun to watch.

    • I think a couple of these were made to be serious (Candlemass and Immortal), but for the most part the artists had to know they were being ridiculous. I don’t think even ManOwar was like, ya, choreographed VHS insertion and loincloths, now that’s bad ass.
      No decade was or will be as crazy as the 80’s early 90’s were. The thing that made them so great was the fun factor, It seems everyone was just trying to have a good time.

  2. These gave me a really good laugh, especially the first two, thank you! Love your themes!

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